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A recent discussion reminded me of this particular encounter 15 years ago.
While mountain biking on the Cow Pasture Trail in Cranberry Glades, we rode up upon a black bear and her cubs. In the short conversation with a nervous friend which followed, I was able to quote the "I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you." joke. It was indeed a priceless moment.
That said, I feel it necessary to also state two things. First, never run from a bear. It may incite their instincts to pursue. A runner will more likely be the victim instead of the person who moves out of range slowly. The joke was said, but that is not how we handled the situation.
Second, black bears are not normally aggressive unless provoked. Brown bears? Well I don't have to deal with them here
How about the rest of you. Any instances where the fates set you up with an iconic one-liner?
Weekly, pretty much. But then again, the movie that is my life has some pretty odd screenwriters.
My wife and I live near a duck pond. She is a runner and passes the pond every morning on her daily run. There have always been these two white ducks there - and only two white ones, among a flock of mallards and Canada geese - the wife named them "Snow" and "White," and the two of them were always near each other, whether the other ducks were around or not.
Recently she was running past the lake and saw that one of the two white ducks was dead. She made me go back there with her that night to confirm, and sure enough it was a goner. She was upset, thinking that the surviving white duck would be lonely without its companion around, but what can you do, you know?
Two days later, she calls me at work to say that there are two white ducks at the pond again - a new white duck has shown up to take the place of the dead one.
I said: "Wait a minute, the white duck dies and there's a new white duck in the picture two days later. I suspect fowl play."
I always regretted not posting a statement when this thread was newer. After recently coming up with another line hopefully worthy to mention (to go along with the one I regretted not posting) I thought "what the hell, I'll refresh the thread". DISCLAIMER: Not claiming either of them to be iconic!
If you clicked on the Not Dead Yet thread you heard me whine about not getting this particular job. It was a sales clerk position at this store called the Wood Merchant. As the name would imply the store sells all kinds of locally fashioned wood furniture, decorations etc. The owner had placed an ad in the local paper listing an e-mail address and I sent my resume with a cover letter. The owner e-mailed me back saying he was going to collect a few more applications before deciding; in the meantime, he said, why don't you come down to the store and introduce yourself.
I get dressed up in my spiffy interview clothes, packed a hard copy of my resume and references in case he wanted them right then, and trodded down to the store. It is only a ten minute walk from my house.
I go in and walked up to the man behind the counter, turns out it's the owner. My timing was good because the store is slow and we have a chance to talk. He says he looked over my resume and I'm getting a good vibe. Then he asks "Are you very familiar or have you ever worked with wood?' This was my weak spot, but I hadn't dwelled on it too much. I replied in real low voice "Well, I did take wood shop in eighth grade." I was only being half serious which he understood immediately. He chuckled and said "Most people coming in here don't have a lot of expertise with wood."
I think the other line that came off the top of my head is a bit better. It also occurred during a job interview, this one was from 2013. I went into one of the several art gallerys here and noticed a help wanted sign on the counter for, again, a sales clerk. I immediately swung into action, researching the gallery online, composing a cover letter and printing a resume. Whenever there is an opening here I jump on it; I won't have to commute as the town is small enough to walk everywhere. The next day I walk to the gallery. I go up to the lady behind the counter, ask if she is the manager or owner,no, but she'll go get the owner.
The owner comes out and it is this older woman, probably late fifties/early sixties. I kind of tower over her, being six foot compared to her five three or four. "My name is Matt, is this is a good time to talk about the job opening?" "Yes, my name is Mrs. Klear. Let's go into my office". As she is sitting down, she bids me to do the same in the chair in front of her desk. I noticed she seemed kind of nervous. My guess is its the age difference and me rolling in there with no notice so soon after they opened. She says in an awkward tone "It's the most uncomfortable chair in the world" and doesn't follow it up with anything and just looks at me with an awkward smile. "Well, I guess that's only appropriate for this situation." She says under her breath "a job interview, yes" and breaks into a wide smile and laughs softly.
She turned me down for the job that day, but took about a half hour to mentor me about what she would do in my shoes to get a job in one of the art gallerys or stores here.
