CH. 14: Darkest Hour

[TristenC]

Grubnick nods, Sounds good. I wouldn't want to fight a bunch of those without better weapons. Grubnick searches the new dead-end.

[BishGada]

"Gregeddin ?!?" Tulbas spills tea from his glass, his hands shaking, and put it on the table. "Gods above! That can not be!" Kendra answer took him completely by surprise. When he heard Kendra was the executioner he was certain above all doubt that Gregeddin is safe... But quickly he sees his reaction will affect Kendra, maybe in a way that there will be no return back.
He moves to sit next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "It is not your fault." he says and waits a moment and then, "It is not your fault! I know you think otherwise, but you couldn't save him. If you would have refused you were both killed and you would not be able to save many others that you will in the future. I liked Gregeddin, he was brave and good but his attempt on the prefect was foolish and that led to his death. It is not your fault." Tulbas waits to see how her body responses. He expects her to try to hide from the world, become tiny and invisible and try to move away from him. He let her do that. 'You will have to gather yourself and think of the future. Your must continue to live.' He thinks to himself but knows this is not the right moment to speak of it. She will have to spend several nights crying and days to make peace with herself. "You probably don't see it right now but you did greater good. Don't let Gregeddin death to be for nothing. You and him are the victims of the prefect wickedness." Tulbas tries to comfort her as much as he can and to give her opening to deflect the blame and put it on the prefect. 'It must have been horrible for you.' He thinks to himself afraid to push her over the edge to clinic depression. He then keeps quiet and wait for Kendra to express her emotions planning to help if the need arises. Already he considers bringing some calming herbs from the shop to help her relax and sleep.

[HorizonsDream]

Kendra's head shoots up upon hearing Tulbas' first reaction because she is under the impression that Tulbas knows that Gregeddin was been slain by her own hands, but that doesn't appear to be the case.That is the reaction she is expecting, it is the kind of reaction that she feels that she deserves. Though, instead, things take a much different turn than she is expecting when he actually walks over to her, touches her, and tries to bring her some small amount of comfort. ~Why is he not calling me a monster?~ she asks herself.

She stares at him, as if searching for some sort of hidden agenda because it doesn't make sense for him to be doing this. "I..." she pauses for a moment to gather her own thoughts as her eyes fall back down to the floor. "I put myself in this position, Tublas," she finally says softly. "As much as you might want me to believe it isn't my fault...it is my fault." No one was going to tell her any differently. "I might be trying to convince myself that I'm helping the greater good, but at what cost?" she asks. "I'm only going to do more horrible things in the future before this is all over."

[JadedDM]

Gobax and Shima (West Haven Sewers)
The pair spend some time searching the western wall, but find nothing out of the ordinary. By the time they thoroughly finish searching, they have about an hour left before curfew begins.

[Chris1234]

"Time to head back," says Shima who then starts to lead the way back.

[TristenC]

Yep. Grubnick follows, trying to puzzle out what might be above the, from the distances and directions traveled.

[JadedDM]

Gobax and Shima (West Haven Sewers)
Gobax can't be sure, but he would guess that currently they are somewhere beneath the Noble District.

With that decided, the two begin the long and largely uneventful journey back to the entrance they used in the old warehouse, way back in the Harbor District. As they are not exploring, searching or fighting, the trip back is much shorter.

[Chris1234]

"OK, where to sleep?" asks Shima, who then follows his newfound companion.
Anyone would think the dwarf doesn't have any friends. Funny that.

[BishGada]

'This is very delicate situation.' Tulbas thinks considering his words carefully. "I know what you mean. You feel grave guilt and this is understandable." he pauses for a moment. "But this guilt that you feel, this what makes you a good person. Evil people would feel no regret. They would easily take the opening telling themselves they didn't have a choice. You on the other hand deflect this choice even that I suggested it openly. You are good and you would have saved Gregeddin if that was a possible fate." he says calmly and slowly. "You believe you put yourself in this situation, but that is not completely true. We can control only so much in our path in life. This was god hands." he pauses again. "I'm not justifying killing at any position claiming it is not in our hands, but you couldn't know what will happen. You did all you could to safe Gregeddin from the fate he brought on himself. This has been done, and it is difficult to face it, but you need to choose your steps carefully to save yourself, and you need to forgive yourself. It is not your fault! The prefect is the one to blame. He could give Gregeddin a fair trial. He shouldn't have put you in this position in the first place in respect to both men. He is the wicked one. You are a victim of circumstances and his wickedness." he waits again.
"I'm very deeply sad about losing Gregeddin. No words can describe it. I'm sure your heart aches ten times folded than mine. But you don't want to lose yourself to oblivion. This will only give the prefect another win." he looks at her concerned. He himself just recently could start to get over his own feeling of guilt in Raetmal's murder. And he even didn't kill him by himself, he only thought he might have been able to prevent it somehow.
"No one can tell the future. Your actions might lead to what you consider horrible, but so might your lack of action. This is all in the hands of the gods, and if I understood correctly the rumors today, the gods indeed started to meddle in humans life again. What we can do is to strive to do the best in the position given to us, and the way to do it is to consider if the action you were going to make is done for your own good or for the greater good. If you do it to get glory, or to help others and you would do the same even without the glory.And in case of hurting others, you must consider if there are other choices and if the reason you avoid them is cowardliness or indeed you choose the lesser evil." Tulbas himself was debating a lot in the last few years, since most of his family was murdered, what is good and what is evil. He doesn't know what is the correct path for one to follow, but he can easily lecture about the possibilities. At least in the way he sees them.
"Please share with me your feelings. Few weeks ago, when Magnus murdered my uncle, my mind was tangled and my soul was eaten from inside. That made me do foolish actions and I was almost killed more than once. You are a good person, no matter what you feel currently. I believe in you. If you and Gregeddin would have flipped position he would have to do the same even if he didn't want to, because none of you was in control in that situation. I'm your friend and I'll stay your friend. I know for certain you acted against your core soul, against your nature, and such actions tear up the person. You must heal this rip before it will cause more damage. Please share with me your feelings." he repeats at the end of his sentence. Along the conversation he keeps talking calmly and quietly. Only when speaking Gregeddin name sadness is obvious in his tone and when he mentions the prefect mild anger can be noted.

[HorizonsDream]

"Did I really try to save him?" Kendra asks curiously. "I let him rot in some prison cell after he made that attempt on the prefects life because his actions got a lot of other people in trouble," she explains with a sigh. "I could have tried to break him out, but I was angry. Of course, I didn't know that I would be the one that ended up ending his life," she adds. She wipes a few tears from her eyes, even if it is a hopeless gesture at this point. "I agreed to killing the dwarf because he had harmed innocent people, and even tried to take my life, on the condition that my husband be released. The prefect even mentioned Greggedin to me when he explained that I would be executing the dwarf, but I told him that I didn't want to kill him. I...I guess he decided that what I wanted didn't matter. My point is that you might see me as a good person, but I'm not really a good person."

Aside from her own guilt, which was what was plaguing her mind right now, there was also the fact that the people that look up to her as a hero will now see her as someone to be feared. That much hasn't registered with her just yet. She is expecting the same reaction from Norris that she got from Sadron, and to minimize the damage to her all ready damaged heart, she is going to try to force Norris to leave her. Norris doesn't deserve what she puts him through.

"I...I appreciate what you are trying to do," Kendra finally says. "But all of this is still very new. It happened just a few hours ago, and I haven't been able to process my feelings. I came here to sleep, but I ended up just staring at the wall until you showed up."

[BishGada]

"I know it is difficult. I share your feelings and the mistakes. I know it will take time to process. On the other hand, these few hours are crucial." he pauses, his eyes and features kind, trying to find the words to express his thoughts. "It's like when you forge a sword... While the steel is hot you can shape it and strengthen it's edges... Even if it is deformed, you can still make it right. But if it gets cold and then you try to hammer it, it will shatter." He looks at her eyes to see if the idea sinks in. "The sword is your soul, Kendra. Your heart." he waits. "That's why even that it is difficult, you need to quickly understand that you are not the one to blame. Without you Gregeddin would have been executed weeks ago. You gave him hope, and in different circumstances might save his life. That is what you were after and that what counts. You are the victim as much as Gregeddin! The victims of the prefect." He repeats his words and this time tries to give her a hug, friendly but warm, meaning to destroy the dam that holds her emotions in.

[HorizonsDream]

Kendra returns the hug that Tulbas was kind enough to give her, but it didn't work quite the way that he wanted it to. She knows she didn't give Greggedin hope, but she doesn't see the point in telling Tulbas that. While this came off as comfort towards her, she knows that Tulbas was also trying to convince himself of a lot of this stuff. "Thanks, Tulbas," she says softly as she pulls away from him. "But I think, maybe, I should be alone right now. I'm not really the best company."

[BishGada]

"I understand" he says, "but with your permission I'd like to bring few herbs from home and make you a soothing tea that will calm your mind and help you sleep." he waits for her agreement before going quickly home and fetch few of the herbs he knows will help her pass this night. While in the kitchen he takes few moment to put some vegetables, potatoes and some meat in a pot over the fire, and securing the fireplace grated window for safety reasons. He then quickly returns to Norris's house and brews the calming potion.
After a long quiet activity in the kitchen he eventually asks, "What do you plan to do next? What are you doing tomorrow?"

[HorizonsDream]

"I have to go back to work tomorrow," Kendra says. She wraps her hands around the mug once the tea is made for her, and takes a few sips. She hopes that the herbs that he brought help her sleep. "If I don't know show, he'll probably think something is wrong. Plus, there is the possibility that my husband will be released tomorrow."

[JadedDM]

Gobax and Shima (High Hand Inn)
Gobax doesn't answer Shima. But after several moments of awkward silence, the two head back to the High Hand. The usual crowd is there and everyone's buzzing about something that went on today in the market square.