Episode 1: Heist, Heist, Baby

[spyguy1503]

"The man is named Wade Wilson, although KHOPESH does not think that is his real name. He calls himself Deathlake. Or Deadpool. Or Corpsepond. He appears to like death. And bodies of Water. He has chronic amnesia. He is absolutely nuts. Powers: Regeneration."

3M sneaks around, seeking the source of the noise. He sees a huge, hulking man/monster. It has a metal leg, which is making the clanking noise. It looks right at his new fox-robot-buddy thing. "Goliath Kill!", it screams.

(OOC: Think Solomon Grundy with a colossus leg.)

[TristenC]

YB: He's gonna hurt the fox lady!
WB: The Hell you say!
3M: *Don't worry, boys. I got a little something special for spanky there...*

Marc fires the sniper rifle smiley faced bullet at "Grungy Grundy's" head.

-------
Surprise attack?
attack: 1d20+4
Dmg: 5(wep)+2(sneak attack) = +7 dmg

3M sneak attack Grungy Grundy w/sniper rifle. attack [1d20+4] = 16+4 = 20

------

After the round (presumably) smacks the behemoth square in the forehead Marc jumps up from cover and raises the rifle over his head, cheering like the sand-people from Star Wars.
3M: Arrrooooo! Arrr! Arrr! Arooooo!
WB: Get it together, man. The fox is watching...
YB: Aww... you never let us have any fun...

[Rivi]

maxx snorts out a giggle "nice star wars reference" then to razor "move to this guys left and harry him ill stay here and rush in if he turns to you. stiletto where are you? once you get here ghost threw the back wall and start in on him will surround and pack hunt him . lets bleed him good" an electronic toothy grin of red micro LEDS shines on the helmet of the red fox

[TristenC]

3M: Oh, Star Wars fan, eh?

Marc pulls his shirt collar up over his nose, covering his lower face. Luke! Who's your daddy! He looks to see if grungy grundy is down or if there are more coming. Hey, silver-suit sistah. You got pandora on that thing? I dunno about you, but I could use some jams while I work...

[spyguy1503]

3M's Bullet strikes true, shooting off a portion of the monster's face. It starts regrowing instantly. Razor flanks the beast, peppering it with bullets.

[TristenC]

WB: He regenerates like us...
YB: Copy-cat 8@$74%&!!!
3M: ... copycat... why does that sound familiar...
WB: Eye on the ball, slugger.
3M: *Right*

Marc hooks three grenades together and takes his stance. *in a perfect Bob Uecker impersonation* It's the bottom of the ninth, two outs and bases loaded. The new star pitcher for the Brewers takes the mound... There's the wind-up... and the pitch! Marc does a full, major-league pitcher wind-up and hurls the grenades at grungy grundy, having removed the pin from one of them during the wind-up.

-----
All-out atrack, full
Init: 1d20+8
Baseball talk to Taunt (bluff-style demoralize) as a move action, so at -4
Taunt: 1d20+8-4=1d20+4
attack: 1d20+7
Dmg: Blast Explosion 5, reflex DC 15 (3 times?)

3M pitching to Grungy Grundy init, taunt, attack [1d20+8] = 11+8 = 19,[1d20+4] = 13+4 = 17,[1d20+7] = 15+7 = 22
-----

3M: Aaaaand BoomGoesTheDynamite

[Rivi]

maxx growls and springs forward trasforming into her fox form and slashing with her claws

[spyguy1503]

Goliath, or Grungy Grundy as 3M likes to call him, takes three grenade blasts to the face, then is shredded by Max's claws. He starts slowly growing back, but not completely. Loud cheering is heard "Go Goliath! Shred those wannabes!"

[TristenC]

3M: You guys thinkin' what I'm thinkin?
WB: Tur-duck-en?
YB: Tur-duck-en!
3M: Tur-duck-en. Hey vicious vixen, we need to do something about the peanut-gallery over there he calls to Max

Marc rushes over to the partially regenerated behemoth, drawing the biggest knife in his new collection with his right and holding the remaining regular grenades in his left. Fiiiirst, we make 'ze incis-ion in 'ze belly like so! Marc slashes hard across Grungy Grundy's abdomen, crossing one of the slash wounds to make a hole. Zen, we STUFF ze turkey wih ze little chick-a-dees! he continues, cramming the grenades up into Grundy's chest cavity before the opening heals over.

While we are waiting, let us take some questions from ze studio audience...


-------
All-out attack: +7

Init: 1d20+8
Attack: 1d20+7
Dmg: 1(knife)+3(str)=+4 dmg

3M 'operating' on Grungy Grundy init, attack [1d20+8] = 8+8 = 16,[1d20+7] = 11+7 = 18

[Rivi]

max orders razor to keep on the Goliath and turns looking for the targets in the room once shes found them she will teliport to be hind them and put the gun against the back of there head and ask them to surrender there weapons

[spyguy1503]

Razor continues to fire at the giant. 3M slices open the creature's skin, then stuffs in a few grenades. He barely remembers to pull the pin. Max teleports out of the way, behind a few grunts not unlike the one she already interrogated. She calmly asks them to surrender. One runs, one surrenders, and one pulls out a grenade. "Not today, furry!" he yells. The explosion is legendary. 3M can feel his face melt slightly. It slowly starts to grow back. Pieces of Goliath go everywhere. 3M is splattered in greyish blood and meat chunks. Max feels rather sickened.

[TristenC]

[Ooc: I was planning to shoot the gut-nades from afar, but I guess we'll leave it as-written. Can't argue with results
I apologize in advance for my next post.]

Marc starts rubbing the blood all over himself and scrubbing with a 'meat-chunk' like soap while singing, as if he were in the shower. I feel pretty, oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty, and.., HEY! No peeping! He shouts the last, pointing at the grunt readying the grenade. Marc scoops up ground-up Grundy's metal leg and walks quickly over and attacks the grenade wielding grunt while changing his song, We had our words, a common spat. So I kissed him upside the ca-ranium with an aluminum baseball bat... he punctuates the last word as he swings the metal leg like a club, then turns to the one that surrendered, My name is Mud.

----
All-out attack: +7
Init: 1d20+8
Attack: 1d20+7
dmg: metal leg[?], +3 [str] = ?+3 dmg

3M vs grenade grunt. init, attack [1d20+8] = 14+8 = 22,[1d20+7] = 2+7 = 9

I think I just missed... um... does a 9 hit mr Game Master sir?

[Rivi]

max blurs and strikes to cut off the guard hand holding the grenade

[spyguy1503]

(I'm afraid not, Mr. Psychopathic Nutjob, Sir.)

3M grabs the leg of Goliath. It is almost too heavy for him to carry. He attempts to strike a guard with that, but fails catastrophically and trips. He looks up from the ground at the surrendering one. "Uh... Hello mud." he says. Max attacks the guard with the grenade. However, she fails to realize that he already pulled the pin on another with his other hand. The grenade goes off, along with the still defused one. Max's armor is damaged by the blast. 3M is toppled and blown up, but only a little. The guards both perish, leaving one with very odd last words.

[TristenC]

[OOC: Time for Pool-O-Vision! I’ve waited so long… not really… but yay!]

3M hits the ground hard, the metal leg slinging him off balance. His new fox-lady-mech-pal-transformer-thing cuts off the guard’s hand with the grenade just as 3M notices that the tiny metal pin is missing… time seems to slow as the explosive falls towards him on the ground…

WB: Don’t worry slugger, you’ll get ‘em next inning…
YB: I guess now we know you’re better at pitching than ca…

*BOOOOM!!!*

The world is filled with bright white heat and… what was his name again…? Whoever he was spun like a pinwheel in a tornado… In fact… he was a pinwheel! Slowly vision returned and Marc… was that his name? It didn’t seem right somehow… Marc twirled about tied down to a carousel-sized pinwheel by animal balloons, one of which was made into the shape of a fox… His red-and-black clown-suit seemed oddly familiar, but other things grab his immediate attention. The area is packed with carnival rides, food stands and racks of prizes.

One section s filled with prizes that look like little stuffed x-men dolls, silver leg-shaped baseball bats, grenade-pattern water balloons and AK 101 pellet-guns; another area is filled with balloons bearing the faces of other superheroes about to be popped in a dart game. One of the balloons is the fox-lady he met earlier, her silent screams cause the balloon to shake violently. On either side of her are the other two fox-constructs. The darts all look like bullets and a fat kid bearing a striking resemblance to Grungy Grundy lines up his shot.


WB: so#$34L[6 #$-g6mw*e r83);a 56&s5j0439%^*g8$7m 9^03m…
3M: What the hell is wrong with him?
YB: He’ll be back with us in a minute, some areas are still under construction.
3M: That’s lame…
YB: we thank you for your patience and would like to remind you that you got us into this #5k1n6 $#!7…

Struggling to pull his hands free Marc finds a pink balloon on his left wrist tied in the shape of a pirate hook.

3M: What’s with all the balloons?
WB: wohdo c0nes t3rp3n71n3. Farfel farfel pippik?
3M: Huh?
YB: He said, “Why don’t you ask them…”

A trio of clowns comes trundling out from behind one of the stands, their pasty, bloated, misshapen faces twisted in evil delight. Each one toting a large, curly fun-straw as they giggle and screech to each other in some unusual language. The first one raises his straw, aiming it at Marc. Taking a deep breath he blows into the straw, firing a sharpened pinwheel that whirls through the air to stab the spinning Marc in the side. Sonova…! The other clowns join in, and object of the game, apparently, is to be the first to put out both of his eyes… Nearby the fox balloon keeps thrashing as dart after dart lands closer and closer. The Klowns chatter at each other and all line up to fire at once, with a heaving rancid wind the pinwheels fly and the world goes dark…

3M: @#$^#%#$ Mother-$#%^# Klown-@$3 piece of…

Gradually sight returns and Marc sees the warehouse around him… along with pieces of the guards. The fox lady is rising to her feet nearby, cracks criss-crossing her armor as tendrils of smoke rise from everything nearby. Marc glances at his right hand to find it missing, along with a significant portion of his skin and probably part of his face…

3M: I knew I should have just gone for the Chimichanga and a nap… Hey foxy-lady, you ok over there? I’m just gonna lie here quietly and bleed for a bit…

To Max it appears that part of his skull is missing and some of his brains are exposed…


[OOC: For the clowns imagine the starting cast from “Killer Klowns from Outer Space” (TWE 1988)]